I'm Alive
by Just-For-Kicks-XP
Summary: SONGFIC. Based on the song 'I'm Alive' by 'Disturbed'. Set a little bit after Edward and Alphonse originally lose their bodies. When Mustang demands a favour of Edward, what can Edward say?


DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters. But I really wish I did.

**I'm Alive**

The door slammed violently behind the blonde alchemist as he stormed into the small office. The man behind the desk looked up, a small smirk gracing his features as he took in the angry scowl of his sub-ordinate.

"What now, Fullmetal?"

Edward 's eye twitched. "What do you mean 'what now'? You know perfectly well, Colonel Bastard!"

_Never again, will I be dishonoured,_

_Never again, will I be reminded,_

_Of living within the world of the jaded._

Mustang leant forward in his seat, resting his chin on his hand. "I'm afraid not. Care to enlighten me?"

"As if you don't know; what's the big idea? We had just found a promising lead for the first time in months and you call us back here, for no reason!" Edward shouted.

_They kill inspiration,_

_It's my obligation,_

_To never again, allow this to happen._

Mustang widened his eyes in recognition and rose to his feet, towering at least a foot over the young boy. "Ah, yes, I see. In fact, I do have a perfectly legit 'reason'. I have a mission for you, Fullmetal, that requires your skills, and yours alone."

_Where do I begin?_

_The choices are endless._

_Denying my sin,_

_My art, my redemption._

_I carry the torch of my fathers before me._

Edward raised one eyebrow impatiently. "Oh, I get it. So what is this oh-so-important mission that demanded I abandon my search, and rush back to central?"

"I need you to accompany me to a presentation organised by the Fuhrer himself. He requested personally that you attend." Replied Mustang.

"Are you kidding? You dragged us away from our lead for _that_? So I could turn up to some fancy meeting as your performing dog?" Edward roared, a vein throbbing dangerously in his forehead.

_The thing I treasure most in life cannot be taken away._

_There will never be a reason why I will surrender to your advice!_

Mustang sighed heavily and sank back down into his seat. "I take it, then, that you aren't going to come along quietly?"

_To change myself, I'd rather die,  
Though they will not understand._

"Damn right, I won't!" Came the angry reply.

"Well, I'm afraid, you've left me no other option. You will attend this presentation, Fullmetal, and you will remain on your best behaviour throughout the ordeal. That is a direct order."

Edward snarled, his hands clenching into shaking fists.

_I won't make the greatest sacrifice.  
You can't predict where the outcome lies!  
You'll never take me alive!_

"And if I refuse...?" He spat.

The Colonel shrugged. "Then I cut your funding. And disallow any further personal ventures from now on."

_I'm alive._

Edward took a stunned step backward. Then took two steps forward and grabbing Mustang's collar brought his face in close to his own. "How dare you, you unconscionable shit! You'd go that far to secure your own career? Potentially destroy two lives for your own selfish means?"

_I'm alive._

Mustang stared back coolly without blinking. "If I remember correctly, Fullmetal, it wasn't I who attempted human transmutation on my own mother. It wasn't I who trapped my younger brother in a suit of armour. It wasn't I who destroyed your lives at all."

_I'm alive!_

Shocked, the boy's grip on Mustang coat loosened and he slid easily back into his chair. "I suggest you think it over and report back to me this afternoon."

_Change again, cannot be considered.  
I rage again, dispelling my anger.  
Where do I begin?_

Numbly, Edward turned on his heel and walked swiftly and silently out of the door. For a few moments he simply stood there, while Mustang's hurtful and painfully true words echoed in his aching head, each word leaving small, sharp gashes in his mind.

_The choices are endless,  
My art, my redemption, my only salvation.  
I carry the gift that I have been blessed with._

"Brother...?" A small, timid voice snapped him out of his reverie. Edward turned to him and smiled sadly, looking up into the bright beady red eyes of his adored baby brother. "Hey, Al. You okay?"

The armour seemed to let out a small sigh. "Yes, Brother. I'm more worried about you though; I heard yelling."

_My soul is adrift in oceans of madness,  
Repairing the rift that you have created.  
I am not alone, brothers, give me your arms now!_

Edward laughed, but the sound was hollow and cold. "It was nothing. Seriously. I'm fine, aren't I always?" Alphonse wasn't quite sure what to say so he kept quiet. "Anyway, I don't want to hang around in a boring place like this. C'mon Al, let's go to the park or something."

Alphonse nodded, mentally wincing at the sound of his metal armour scraping harshly against itself, then trudged slowly along after his older brother.

Edward sat solemnly on the cold park bench, keeping a watchful eye on his younger brother as he played with a stray kitten. It was an almost comical sight- an enormous intimidating suit of armour cuddling a tiny ginger coloured cat. Edward wasn't sure whether he wanted to laugh or cry.

_The thing I treasure most in life cannot be taken away.  
There will never be a reason why I will surrender to your advice._

He leant back into the cool metal of his seat and contemplated his conversation, if you could call it that, with Mustang. He winced as the sharper of the words bit once again into his sub-conscience. The look on the Colonel's face; annoyed, self-righteous, accusatory...pitying. '_It wasn't I who destroyed your lives at all.' _Edward sighed deeply. He was definitely right, there. The only person to blame here was himself.

_To change myself, I'd rather die,  
Though they will not understand.  
I won't make the greatest sacrifice.  
You can't predict where the outcome lies!_

Edward glanced around for something to distract himself, but found nothing. The park was fairly empty today, with only the occasional kid playing on the swing set and their mother sunbathing several meters away.

With another sigh, the teenager lifted his gaze from the dusty asphalt to the clear blue sky. From the corner of his eye, he could see a dark, ominous cloud rolling in, unwanted and ugly. It cast a cold, desolate shadow on the ground and even as Edward watched he could see that it was creeping closer, closer to him and his little brother.

_You'll never take me alive._

He wanted to move, to stand, to run to his brother, take him away from this shadow, this darkness. But he couldn't do it. Couldn't bring himself to move, even though his mind was screaming at him to get up, GET UP! Alphonse. Alphonse! It was just like before, his baby brother, so naive, so unaware, the picture of childish innocence, even when he looked like this. The darkness was creeping up on him, coming after him.

_I'm no slave.  
Are you feeling brave?  
Or have you gone out of your mind?_

A sudden blinding pain reared up in his left leg all the way up his thigh and his eyes widened in shock and hurt. It was _exactly _like before. But did that mean-

_No more games!_

The scene changed, colours bleeding sickeningly into each other. The sky became red, the floor covered with alchemic markings and symbols, the sunbathing mother became- NO! It was that _thing_, that monster, they had made all that time ago. That had cost them so much but given so little.

_It won't feel the same._

Alphonse. He needed to get to Alphonse.

_If I hold my anger inside,_

"Move, Alphonse, it's right behind you! ALPHONSE!"

_There's no meaning,_

"ALPHONSE! NO!"

_My soul is bleeding,_

The darkness was swallowing him, he couldn't get there in time...

_I've had enough of your kind._

He couldn't see Alphonse anymore, he was gone, but Edward was next, the shadow was coming,

_One suggestion, use your discretion,_

Now it had taken his right arm, swallowed it and it hurt so much, not as much as Alphonse, he was gone, all gone, never coming back just like his mother and father Alphonse come back come back come-

_Before you label me blind!_

"BROTHER!"

Silence.

"Alphonse...?" As Edward watched, the sky faded back to blue, the markings were simple children's drawings, the hideous monster was a bored mother and the darkness...it was just a harmless shadow.

But more importantly, there was his brother staring down at him, his hard unmoving face somehow managing to look worried...ah.

_The thing I treasure most in life cannot be taken away.  
There will never be a reason why I will surrender to your advice._

Alphonse crouched down low to look into his brother's eyes. "Brother, what happened? Are you ok? Did someone attack you? Did-"

"Stop, Al. It's ok now. Everything's ok." Edward soothed, giving him a small smile.

_To change myself, I'd rather die,  
Though they will not understand._

"But just now, you were screaming, you looked so scared." Alphonse murmured, almost afraid to know what had happened that was so awful, it would do _that_ to his indestructible big brother.

_I won't make the greatest sacrifice.  
You can't predict where the outcome lies._

The blonde boy was grinning now, an unknown spark in his golden eyes. "Just fell asleep and had a bit of a nightmare. I'm sorry I scared you, Al, but it helped me clear my head so I should be grateful." He stood up and stretched, wincing at the loud cracks that accompanied it. "C'mon, I just need to go back to Central real quick."

Perplexed, dazed and just a little frightened, Alphonse turned once again to follow his brother.

_You'll never take me alive._

The door was slammed the second time that day when Edward stormed back into Mustang's office, but this time with a massive grin on his face.

_I'm alive._

"Hello, Colonel Bastard."

Mustang glanced up from his stack of paperwork to regard his unruly subordinate.

"Fullmetal. I assume you've come to a decision then?" He asked, unable to hide his trademark smirk as he did so.

_I'm alive._

Edward replied with a wide smirk of his own. "Yeah. But on one condition."

The Colonel narrowed his eyes. "Name it." Edward strolled up to the desk and leant over until he was staring directly down at Mustang's face.

"After this, no more bargains. You don't hold our position against us. And don't make out like we're so replaceable. Having the youngest state qualified alchemist on your time may not be all that useful in combat, but it sure looks good on your résumé, doesn't it, _Colonel_? And if your job is so damn important to you, you wouldn't want to put it on the line by losing your trump card over some petty argument, would you?"

_I'm alive._

For on endless moment, Mustang said nothing; just glared back at the young alchemist, a fire smouldering in his onyx eyes. Then the spell was broken, and a slight grin tugged at the Colonel's lips.

_I'm alive._

Then swivelled in his chair so he was facing away from Edward. "Whatever you say, Fullmetal. Just don't screw up my presentation."

_I'm alive._

Edward snickered and took a couple of steps back, folding his arms over his chest. "You really are soft touch, aren't you, Colonel Bastard? And don't worry; I wouldn't want to risk your _precious_ job, especially when I've got you wrapped so tightly round my little finger."

_I'm alive._

Mustang visibly stiffened but didn't turn around. "You're dismissed, Fullmetal. Oh and watch your head on your way out, the doorframe is a bit low...then again, that wouldn't be a problem for you now would it, Short-stuff?"

Edward hissed but settled for banging the door on his way out instead of Mustang's head. It made a satisfying crash.

_I'm alive._

Alphonse hurried after his brother once more as Edward swiftly marched out of the building. "Brother? What did Mustang say to get you so upset? Did he say something about you being sho..."

Edward whipped round and pointed his automail finger directly at Alphonse's helmet.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT HE COULD TAKE A STROLL UINDER A LIMBO STICK?"

Alphonse had to stifle a giggle and despite himself, Edward stopped and genuinely smiled at him. Alphonse noticed a moment later and after having got over his little giggling fit, he couldn't help but ask. "Why are you so happy, brother?"

Edward looked up into his glowing eyes, and still smiling widely, answered. "Because, Al."

_I'm alive._


End file.
